It may not have seemed so crucial to you before you had your own family. In fact, you can probably hardly remember any schedules your parents designed around your life when you were little. Even with your own kiddo, it may take a while before your realize how important routines are for your family’s wellbeing. Yes, for the entire family, not just for your little one. Sometimes it takes being ‘blessed’ with a child that won’t sleep, or perhaps the constant feeling of sheer overwhelm drives you insane. At one point you find out that routines make your life easier and less chaotic.
Evening routines do not start at 6PM. Successful routines that get your family quietly into sleeping modus and off to bed, start after your morning coffee (or whenever it is you take a moment to plan your day). Maybe you are one of those miracle parents who whip up dinner in a moment’s notice and have everyone seated at the table by 6. But more likely you are like me, realizing too late that you never remembered to defrost the beef that is the main ingredient in your meal tonight (which, by the way, needs an hour in the oven). It helps me to look at my dinner plans early in the day and schedule my time accordingly. You decide what time you want your kids in bed. Know what time to begin your evening routine. When necessary, plan your meals depending on late afternoon activities, and prepare in advance. Soccer practice and gymnastics somehow always seem to happen around dinner time.
Kids can get a little grumpy and hard to manage later in the afternoon. I often allow them to watch TV, so I can cook and already clean up as much as possible. We do not turn on the TV until everyone has picked up toys and cleaned out school backpacks. Of course this the ideal scenario. Sometimes I skip the cleanup and regret it later.
After dinner, we clean off the table, take baths and put on pajamas. At 7PM, the youngest goes upstairs with one parent. The other parent finishes the dishes and takes the other kids up half an hour later. We all read books before bed, and our oldest writes a diary, does some drawing and listens to quiet music. The TV has been off for 2 hours at this point, and we keep roughhousing after dinner to a minimum. The goal is to have healthy sleep hygiene to help everyone to a restful slumber.
Tips and tricks:
Make sure your kids know what to expect. Are there days you do things differently? Of course. But you will probably notice it tomorrow. Want to throw in a weekly movie night? That is a routine too.
A routine is not a schedule. There is flexibility depending on your needs. The key is for everyone to know what they can expect, and not live in chaos.
- Done with nagging and motivating? Download a few songs you and your kids really enjoy. Use whatever device you have around (phone, iPad, Echo) to play these transition songs every day at the same time. Your family may decide on a daily roughhousing time where you allow pillow fights, wrestling and tickling to mark the end of the afternoon. Pick a song that matches the energy of your activity. Transitioning to story time for example needs an entirely different song.
- Be ahead of the game rather than delayed. Dinner 15 minutes early? Great, there will be time for a board game after dishes.
- Adjust the elements of your routine to your kids, but also to your own energy level. It may seem like a good idea to turn on the TV as soon as they go crazy and start fighting, but maybe you need a dance party to lift the mood and get some energy out. At the same time you get new energy to make it through those dreaded last hours before the little ones are tucked in bed.
- If your household needs chores done at the end of the day, like feeding pets or setting the table, make your kids responsible as soon as they are old enough. Help them with a chore board of some sort. We love whiteboards for checking things off because this way the kids can be actively involved and take ownership.
- Don’t give up on your first attempt to create routine, but try things out and see what works. Life keeps changing, and so will your routine. You do not need to be perfect.
